How Do You Measure Your Value?
Hint: you don't have to.
The Context
I was speaking with a good friend and fellow coach this week about why I procrastinate on specific tasks.
We ended on the following logic train: I link my value as a person to the amount of value that I can provide to others. This results in a fear of committing 100% of my time and effort to certain tasks with high expectations. Why? Because I am afraid that they will no longer value me if I don't meet those expectations. After all, if I’m not providing value, why would they want to have me around?
After our talk, I became acutely aware of the sabotage embedded in this thought process. I don’t need to struggle desperately to make sure that I always provide value to others, and neither do you. We implicitly provide value by being who we are.
You are valuable because you exist.
Humans are born into this world without being chosen to be here, we are put into the darkness without a manual or guide. Yet just by existing, we have changed the world. There is a Zulu maxim that goes, "umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu." 1
"A person is a person through other persons."
We give those who birthed us, those who raise us, and those who interact with us another perspective, another potential identity, and another chance. Your value and your self-worth are unlimited because you are here. Everything else that you do is an extra gift to the world.
So go out and be the best version of yourself, not because you want to be valued, but because you know that what you have to give is valuable. If you can do that, then you’ll take a big step forward on your journey of Leadership In the Making.
There are many resources to learn more about “ubuntu” as a concept. The “Ubuntu and Western Humanism” section of this article is a good reference to the meaning that I drew from for my interpretation above. https://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Ubuntu_(philosophy)#Ubuntu_and_Western_Humanism